I've just left yet another therapy session. Another one of those sessions being forced to face the darkest and most painful parts of my life. I've done it hundreds of times before and I know I will still do it many more times. Yet each time it's hard again. So hard. Impossibly hard to go … Continue reading The strength it takes….
Dear abuser, I've reached a new and very special milestone today. I got to a place in which I thought I'll never get to. It was so meaningful and so emotional at the same time. It was a moment of immense pain, yet at the same time I was overwhelmed with gratitude to God and … Continue reading A very special victory for me!
I just saw you! You. The you that robbed my life. The you that stole my peace of mind. The you that hurt me and burned me. The you that extinguished the flame in my soul. The you that appeared in so many of my nightmares. The you that changed my life forever. The you … Continue reading Thoughts upon seeing my abuser at an event
I'm Sitting at the shore of the Atlantic Ocean after an extremely painful therapy session. I once again went deeply into the most traumatic part of my life. The part in which I never wanted to face out of fear of falling apart. The part that I have nightmares about. The part which causes me … Continue reading Ocean side thoughts.
It was not me who gave away my mind, my body and my soul, To a sick and selfish man who used me and placed me in a burning hole. It was not me who took his bait, and fell for his tactics, And went along with his sly and very planned out antics. It … Continue reading A poem that took a few min to write but years of work to be able to write it
I woke up this morning, my head spinning, I couldn't believe the day was only beginning. Last nights nightmares were so vivid and real, Yet another flashback throwing me back to my days of hell. I pushed myself out of bed straight to my coffee machine, Hoping to calm my spinning head with a dose … Continue reading One of those challenging days…
Dear Friends, I'm sitting here completely wiped and drained both physically and emotionally. I've been through yet another awesomely challenging day. A day loaded with triggers from my many years of abuse. A day full of sadness and grief over my lost childhood. A day filled with so much pain and grief over my life. … Continue reading My own personal answer to the painful question of “Where’s Hashem?”