There’s that painful and honest question that I’ve been asking my therapist many times. It’s been on my mind for the last while. “Is healing really possible?” If it is, then why oh why am I not there yet??? If it’s not, then why continue the fight? Why continue fighting if I’ll never win the war? Why can’t I just give in and give up?
The answer I’ve come up with, is an answer that I’ve put tremendous thought into. It’s a painful yet very soothing and healing one at the same time.
Suppose two people walk into a car dealership. They are both greeted by separate salesman and both make their decision on the same model car. They both walk out, keys in hand, being the proud owners of two high end beautiful cars.
They both pull out of the shop when suddenly a car collides with one of the vehicles at full speed. Thankfully everyone is okay and the once beautiful car, is now on a flatbed truck, in route to a body shop.
Ten minutes prior, both owners had the same model car, yet now, one owner will have the regular maintenance repairs and an occasional big repair, while the other one will have to constantly have his car in the shop. Anyone who’s been in an accident knows that regardless of how well the car is fixed, it’s never the same as before.
There are some of us that were handed a life, with the standard challenges. The standard maintenance and repairs and an occasional large repair or challenge. Then there are people like myself and others, who have been handed a life full of challenges. We have been through many emotional accidents and we will struggle to live our lives to the fullest all the while, dealing with our past accidents.
Is healing possible? The answer is yes. Very much so. Will we ever be like we were before the accidents? Absolutely not. Our healing comes when we accept that wholeheartedly, and rise above our challenges. We don’t have to live our lives as accident victims. Although we are filled with emotional and many times physical scars from our traumas, we don’t have to look at them constantly.
Will our triggers and flashbacks ever completely disappear? Can we simply wipe away our past? Will those sights, sounds and smells not bring on a panic attack or extreme flashback? The honest answer is, no. We can’t erase history. However, we can learn how to deal with them. Learn how to not become paralyzed by them. Learn that although they feel so mightily scary, in reality, they are only a trigger.
It’s been many years for me on my journey and although I still have triggers and flashbacks and so much pain, my emotional muscles are so much stronger. I’m able to bounce back so much quicker. I’m able to notice what is actually happening. I’m able to avoid them when I don’t feel up to it. I’m able to enjoy life and family, despite having so many scars.
So in summary, healing is completely possible and attainable. It’s not always what we think it is or what we want it to be. We were all given a unique mission to fulfill and each of us have been through the exact amount of trauma in order for us to complete our mission.
Lastly, it is precisely because we were hurt on such a deep level, that we are able to feel happiness on that level as well. It’s as though there are parts in our heart and soul that were opened up and we are therefore able to feel and taste the beauty of this world so much more.
Let’s keep traveling. Keep growing. Keep healing and we will get there.