I must admit, the last few weeks have been a rough time frame for me. I’ve hit some very rough terrain which kept throwing me off course. I’ve been treading water trying to maintain afloat, while the waves of emotions and feelings kept pushing me under.
There were days that I felt like a complete victim. A piece of damaged goods. Ruined and defiled. Too broken to heal and rebuild.
I then had days in which I have felt much stronger and was able to transition myself out of victimhood into survivor mode. I felt the positive energy which comes along with being a survivor.
There were a few times, although very brief and short, that I was able to wear the crown of a thriver. The feelings were ecstatic and breathtaking.
It was during one of those long stretches of being stuck in victim mode, feeling so hopeless and helpless, that God sent a message my way. It was during a drive on a windy and rainy day. Trying to focus on the road while fighting the voices in my head, along with the pounding rain, that I had an epiphany.
I’ve seen the same billboard a hundred times before but this time it hit me. The sign read “not all heros wear caps”. It struck a cord in me. Something clicked. Not all heros wear caps. No, I don’t wear a cap. Victims of abuse and trauma don’t wear caps, yet we can still consider ourselves a hero.
A hero is someone who can weather storms, walk into the line of fire or defy all odds and come out alive. Whether we are victims, survivors or thrivers, we are all the ultimate heros. Even while bound by the shackles of the horrible aftershocks of abuse, the very fact that we are still here, is the biggest reason to wear the hero uniform.
Getting up every morning is heroic.
Going out to school or work, is heroic.
Fighting those dangerous voices in our head, is heroic.
Being a spouse or parent, while battling our inner demons, is heroic.
No, we don’t wear caps. We don’t wear uniforms. Some of us are extremely high functioning and look so put together on the outside. We don’t give off the vibe of heroism. Yet I promise you all, as well as myself that we define the very meaning of heroism.
We won’t get a plaque or a medal. We won’t get honored by a dinner or an appreciation event. We need to give the medal to ourselves. Next time you pass a mirror, please know and believe that you are seeing the face of a hero. Next time you feel down and out, know that you may be depressed but that doesn’t take away from your everyday silent heroic actions.
Nobody sees it, but please believe me that God sees it and is smiling down at you with awe and pride.
Not all heros wear cape but perhaps the greatest ones don’t wear caps.