The day is coming. I don’t know when but it’s in the air. It’s happening. I can almost hear the sound of the shofar. I can almost see the world lighting up and skies opening to what’s above the simple blue sky we all see. I can almost sense the mixture of joy, excitement, fear and so much more. That day we all yearn for so much!
The day I have been longing for, for so many years.
The day that all the holocaust victims cried for.
The day that the many widows and orphans have longed for.
The day that the lonely and downtrodden amongst us await for.
The shofar will sound and everyone will come running in droves. The Rabonim and community leaders. The ones learning in kollel. The ones working by day and spending their nights going out to learn despite their extreme exhaustion.
All the way in the back, walking slowly, hesitantly, will be the ones who don’t learn. The ones that don’t always daven. The ones that don’t keep all the mitzvos. They are not dressed like the rest. They don’t feel like they belong at this bigger than life experience and therefore stay in the back.
Hashem, will call out in the most loving and caring voice. “Who amongst you struggled with keeping Shabbos?”
No one will raise their hand.
Hashem will then continue to ask “Who amongst you struggled with davening in shul and davened at home as a result or perhaps couldn’t daven at all?
Again, no hands go up.
“Who amongst you couldn’t wear teffilin because being wrapped in its straps felt so triggering that you had to rip them off?”
Again, no hands.
“Who amongst you struggled with living life and had to fight through suicidal urges each and every day?”
Again, no hands.
“Who amongst you struggled with Yiddeshkeit and had to keep only the basics in order to survive?”
No hands are raised.
“Who among you were abused during your childhood and suffered every single day as a result and had to fight mightily just to get through the day?”
No hands.
“Who among you walked around with broken hearts, tremendous shame and guilt over childhood abuse?”
No hands.
As this bizarre event is unfolding, there’s a slow and steady uneasiness growing throughout the crowd. The people in the front and middle rows begin to look at each other in shock and dismay. Is this the “Truth” that we were all waiting to hear? Is this the God that we all believed in? Is this the Torah that we’ve studied for thousands of years?
Why aren’t we being asked about our devotion to a life of Torah and the raising of many children? Why aren’t we being asked about all the Mitzvos that we kept in its entirety and went to great lengths to keep them to the fullest? What about all the millions of dollars that were given to the shuls and schools to build beautiful buildings? What about the hours and hours that were spent cleaning for pesach?
What about the chesed we all did for each other over the many thousands of years?
At the very same time, there’s an equal uneasiness in the back rows. They are trying to avoid eye contact with one another but can’t help but look around and wonder.
“Is this real?”
“Could this be true?”
“Is God actually talking to us?”
“Us? The ones who’ve barely been able to keep Judaism?”
“Us, the way we’re dressed”?
There’s a moment of absolute silence which is then interrupted by Hashem’s loving voice once again.
He calls out and says, my dear children, I’ll ask the same questions once again and this time, I ask of you to be honest.”
Hashem proceeds to ask the questions and all hands in the back row are raised at the conclusion of each question. At first they are very hesitantly raised but as the questions continue and Hashem continues with His loving voice, the hands begin to raise with more confidence.
“Who Amongst you struggled making a seder, building a sukkah or saying selichos in Elul?”
“Who amongst you suffered so much from loneliness and shame your whole life because you weren’t able to come out about your abuse?”
Finally, Hashem asks of the back rows to please come up and sit next to Him. Not in the middle and not in the front but rather right next to Him.
They all begin to gather around Hashem, while uncontrollably sobbing from the validation and love they are receiving after a lifetime of the exact opposite.
Hashem then calls out to everyone and says “All of you are my children. I love you all and will reward you immensely for everything that you did. All the learning. All the mesiras nefesh for living a life of Toarh. All the extra effort that you put in to keeping each and every mitzvah to the fullest. You will reap tremendous benefits from it all.”
“However, this very special group sitting next to me, will get everything that you get plus so much more. They will forever remain close to me. They suffered and struggled their entire life. The were lonely and sad. They were looked down upon and degraded for their actions and the way they dressed and looked.”
Hashem continues “on this day of truth I want you all to know that these are the closest and dearest to me. They held on and fought and struggled with all their might to stay alive. To stay as frum as they were able to be. To go through each and every day. To get a job. To get married. To raise children. They had every reason to leave yiddeshkeit, yet with super-human and unnatural strength, they held on to their faith deep inside their core.”
“To all of you sitting in the front and middle rows, all the above came so natural and wasn’t a challenge. You kept all the mitzvos because that’s what you learned as children. However, to the ones sitting next to me, nothing came naturally. Everything was a challenge and they fought and won the many many battles that you never saw or had to go through.”
“Today, I want to applaud them in front of you all and show them how much I cared about them and kept a constant eye on them from above, despite everything they’ve done. They never saw me but I saw them and I never took my eyes or heart away from them. I cried along with them. I struggled along with them and now I want to be together with them, today, tomorrow and forever! You are all soldiers but these are my generals! I promise I love you all and you all take up room in my heart, but this group resides in a very special place, created just for them.”
Never surrender 