I’ve been crying since the world turned black on that horrible day of October 7th.
My life turned grey.
My world changed.
My views changed.
Things that mattered, mattered no more.
Things that didn’t matter, began to matter.
My heart broke and then broke again, and again, and then again with each additional piece of news.
Events I thought were impossible to happen, became possible.
Our perceived safety was destroyed.
Our innocence was stolen.
Life took on a new meaning.
Although trying to stay away from the news as much as I can, the intensity of it still filters in.
The videos of the heartbreaking funerals, the clips of the wounded soldiers singing in hospital beds, the cries of the parents of the hostages and so much more are enough to pierce the coldest of hearts.
My children keep asking, “how”?
And honestly I have many of the same questions.
How?
Why?
When will it end?
How will it end?
I just turned on my phone to watch the rally in Washington for a bit and burst into tears.
I heard them saying Hallel.
Hallel!
Hallel!
And I ask myself the same questions.
How??
Why??
Hallel, now? Why? How?
Watching it again, their voices, all singing in unison, went directly into the deepest parts of my heart.
This is klal Yisroel!
This is the Jewish nation!
These are the children of Hashem!
This is a product of the utmost connection and confidence in Hashem.
We don’t ask why or how!
Despite anything and everything, we just don’t ask.
We turn to God and simply, honestly and wholeheartedly praise Him.
How? Why?
Because this is who we are as a nation!
This is us!
When we say the spirit of the Jews never break, this is it!
When we say “a Yid never breaks”, this is what we mean!
I’ve never felt so proud, so lucky, so connected, so grateful to be part of something so much bigger than myself.
I’ve never felt so alone in the world yet so united as a nation, our own nation within a nation.
Am Yisroel chai, the Jewish nation will live forever and although we’re tested, challenged and broken, our spirit, that internal and united soul can’t and won’t ever be destroyed. That united fire is too strong to be extinguished.
For me personally, I don’t know anymore if I need to know how or why.
The very fact that thousands of Jews can sing Hallel, is living testimony that we are part of something bigger.
Something better.
Something stronger.
Something too brilliantly light for any nation to destroy.
This above human fire is something that comes from Hashem himself and if we are part of Him, I don’t need to know why or how.
He’s got our backs and will watch over us even in the darkest of times.
And now I turn to You Hashem and ask, are You not proud of us?
Is this even possible for the human race to attain?
Is this not something that defies human logic?
Hashem, we don’t work with logic but rather with connection and love.
Hashem, we beg you, we broke the barriers of logic, can You in return break them as well and shower us with your love?
We praised You this morning, can you praise us in return?
We have been united, and bonded for the past five weeks like never before in history. We beg of you to complete the circle of unity and bring us all back home with the coming of Moshiach!
We want it!
We need it!
We are ready!
Never surrender 